scheherazade through the looking glass: unseen beauty
by Parisa Aryán
As human beings living in a modern society, we go through many types of journeys in our lifetimes. Some journeys are physical and others are spiritual. Some are easy and others are difficult. Some are very long and others happen in the space of hours, minutes, even seconds. I define “journey” as anything that takes you to another place or another level, anything that changes you, that shakes your insides and teaches you something new about who you really are.
I had the experience of a journey a couple of months ago, when I traveled to Vietnam. Before I left, I had ideas, hopes and fears about a very specific emotional issue that I would undoubtedly solve while I was there. But it never crossed my mind that, quite independently of that issue, my trip was going to be such a journey of discovery of love (in the broadest, most essential sense of the term), life and myself. My trip changed me, it reacquainted me with myself and it reminded me of who I really am. It changed my outlook on life and my attitude towards it. And, for the first time in a long, long while, I saw things clearly and found my own capacity for real joy.
The repercussions in my day-to-day life have been immediate and almost unbelievable. I have found a connection with my work as an actress that I had not found before, I have started doing things as a dancer that I never thought I would be able to do and I have discovered that I am capable of so many things that I always assumed were out of my reach. I am a better artist; I am a better person. I am braver and happier and stronger. And it still amazes me that all of this came about solely through a change of attitude towards life, with the simple realization that each day is just as unique as a day on a trip to an exotic land and therefore must be lived to the fullest. It’s all a matter of gaining perspective on yourself and your own life, like seeing yourself from a distance and with an objective eye — and I was lucky enough to be able to do this during my travels.
I have not failed to notice that, even with this great change in my life, even with this new outlook and this different attitude, my insecurities have stayed with me, like annoying houseguests that just refuse to leave. Yes, my insecurities are all still here and they are ready to pounce on me as soon as I let my guard down for even one second. It has taken me a while to realize that no journey will ever get rid of these houseguests, but that certain journeys can definitely give me the power to deal with them.
In the past few weeks, I have watched myself and the people around me very closely. I have marveled at how we are so conditioned by the opinions of others. You can go from being a beautiful dancer to looking almost laughable in the space of ten minutes if you think that your audience is judging the way you dance. It is truly incredible how much power our own minds have over us. Seeing just how much the opinions of others can influence me if I let my mind wander made me think of all the people who may not be performing to their fullest capabilities, just because they think that others don’t approve of what they are doing or of how they are doing it. Think about it. Think about all the unseen beauty, all the marvelous things that people are capable of doing and that are never seen, precisely because the rest of us are watching. The unfortunate truth is that, in many cases, we are more beautiful when nobody is looking.
On the other hand, the better you know yourself and the more connected you become with your essence, with what you really are, the easier it is to forget about all of the eyes that are watching you and to just be. The performing arts always include an audience, but ironically, it is only when you manage to forget about the opinions and judgments of that audience that you become a better artist. The actor who is emotionally connected with the character, the dancer who is in complete symbiosis with the music, the singer whose voice comes directly from that deep, deep corner of the soul: these are the people who are truly connected to life and who are, by extension, also the best artists.
We may be more beautiful when nobody is looking, but the truth is that life is always listening. And in the realization of this fact lies the key to connecting with the true essence of beauty.
declared in scheherazade through the looking glass
November 15th, 2008 at 8:32 pm
What you say is so hard to put to practice. Breaking that “bond” between what others think and what WE think is so complicated. Especially in our usual surroundings, that’s why when traveling things are different.
Someone is more likely to be more spontaneous, and true to themselves, when they’re in an unknown location (i. e. where there’s no friends, family, people they know). We basically fear less about the repercussions of our actions.
I have come to realize how easily we settle back into our routine, insecurities come back as you say, the moment we get “home”. This cozy home can, however, be keeping us from being our true selves.
Hopefully with each experience it makes it easier to maintain the energy and carefree attitude gained while traveling and bring it to our everyday life.